Once upon a time, there was a man who had a daughter called Clever Else. When she grew up, her father said she must be married. Her mother agreed and said, Yes, if only we could find someone who would have her. At last, a young man named Hans came from far away. He wanted to marry Else, but he made one condition. He said, I will only marry her if she is careful as well as clever. Oh, said her father, she has plenty of brains! Her mother added proudly, She can see the wind coming up the street and hear the flies cough! Hans nodded and said, Well, if she is not careful too, I will not have her. So they all sat down for dinner to see how clever Else really was.
When they had all eaten well, Else's mother said, Else, go down to the cellar and fetch some beer for our guest. Clever Else took the jug from its hook on the wall. As she walked to the cellar, she rattled the lid up and down to pass the time. When she got there, she took a little stool and set it in front of the big beer barrel. She did not want to bend down and hurt her back. She placed the jug under the tap and turned it. While the beer was running, her eyes wandered around the cellar. She looked here and there, up and down, until she noticed something stuck in the ceiling above her head. It was a pickaxe that some workmen had left there long ago.
Clever Else stared at the pickaxe stuck in the ceiling. Then she began to think. And think. And think some more. Oh dear, she said to herself, if I marry Hans, and we have a child, and the child grows big, and we send it down here to fetch beer, that pickaxe might fall right on its head and hurt it! This thought made Else very sad. She began to cry and cry. She forgot all about the beer running from the tap. She sat there weeping about the poor child that did not even exist yet. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she imagined this terrible thing that might someday happen. Meanwhile, upstairs everyone waited and waited for their drinks, but Else did not return.
After waiting a long time, the mother said to the maid, Go down to the cellar and see why Else does not come back with the beer. The maid went down and found Clever Else sitting in front of the barrel, crying her eyes out. What is wrong? asked the maid. Why are you crying? Oh, sobbed Else, how can I help it? If I marry Hans and we have a child, and it grows up and comes down here for beer, that pickaxe might fall on its head! The maid looked up at the pickaxe and said, Our Else is so clever! She sat down right next to Else and began to cry too. Now there were two people weeping in the cellar over something that had not happened.
Upstairs, everyone was getting very thirsty. When the maid did not return, Else's father sent the serving boy down to see what was happening. The boy found both Else and the maid crying together. What is the matter? he asked. Else explained again about Hans, the future child, and the dangerous pickaxe. The boy looked up at the ceiling and nodded seriously. Our Else is clever indeed! he said. Then he sat down beside them and started crying too. Now three people were weeping in the cellar! Their sobs echoed off the stone walls. Still, no one brought any beer upstairs. The family waited and waited, growing more confused by the minute.
Next, Else's mother went down to the cellar. She found all three crying their hearts out. When she asked what was wrong, Else told her about the pickaxe and the imaginary child. The mother looked up at the ceiling, clasped her hands together, and exclaimed, Our Else is so clever to think of such things! Then she sat down and joined in the weeping. Four people now cried together in the dark cellar. After more waiting, the father came down too. When he heard about the terrible thing that might happen someday, he declared, How clever is our Else! He sat down with the others and added his tears to theirs. The cellar was now quite crowded with weeping people.
Hans sat alone upstairs for a very long time. Finally, he decided to go down and see what had happened to everyone. In the cellar, he found all five of them crying loudly together. What misfortune has happened? he asked in alarm. Oh, my dear Hans, sobbed Else, if we marry and have a child, and it grows big, and we send it down here to fetch beer, that pickaxe might fall on its head! Hans looked up at the pickaxe. He looked at the five weeping people. Then he said slowly, Well, I cannot think that greater sense than this could be wanted in my household. Since you are so clever, Else, I will have you for my wife! He took her by the hand and led her back upstairs. They had their wedding that very day.
After they were married, Hans said to Else one morning, I am going out to work to earn some money. You go into the field and cut the wheat so we can have bread. Very well, dear Hans, said Clever Else, I will do that. She cooked herself a nice pot of porridge to take along and walked out to the field. When she arrived, she stood looking at all the wheat and said to herself, Now, what shall I do first? Shall I cut the wheat first, or shall I eat first? She thought about it very carefully. I know, she said at last, I will eat first! So she sat down in the field and ate all of her porridge until she was quite full.
When Clever Else had finished eating, she looked at the wheat again. Now, she thought, what shall I do? Shall I cut the wheat, or shall I take a little nap first? She considered this question for a long time. At last she decided, I will sleep first! So she lay down in the soft wheat and closed her eyes. Soon she was fast asleep, snoring gently in the warm sunshine. The wheat swayed in the breeze around her, but none of it got cut. The sun moved across the sky. The birds sang. And Clever Else kept right on sleeping. Back at home, Hans finished his work and came home expecting dinner. But Else was not there.
Hans waited and waited, but Else did not come home. He thought to himself, My clever Else must be working so hard that she forgot to come back for supper! When evening came and she still had not returned, Hans went to the field to see how much wheat she had cut. He found her lying in the wheat, fast asleep, with not a single stalk cut. Hans shook his head. Then he had an idea. He went home and got a bird-catcher's net covered with little jingling bells. He crept back to the field and gently threw the net over sleeping Else. Then he hurried home, locked the door, and sat down to wait. The stars came out, and still Else slept on under the jingling net.
When it was quite dark, Clever Else finally woke up. She stood up and shook herself. Jingle, jingle, jingle went the little bells all over her. She was very frightened! What is happening? she cried. The bells jingled every time she moved. She began to wonder if she was really herself. Am I Else, or am I not Else? she asked out loud. She could not decide! I know what I will do, she said at last. I will go home and ask Hans. He will know if I am really me or not! So she ran through the dark fields toward her house, the bells jingling with every step. Jingle, jingle, jingle she went all the way home.
Clever Else ran to her house, but the door was locked. She knocked on the window and called out, Hans, is Else inside? Yes, Hans called back, she is in here! Poor Else was more confused than ever. Oh dear, she cried, then I am not me! If Else is already inside, then who am I? She tried knocking at other houses in the village, but everyone heard the strange jingling bells and would not let her in. Not knowing what else to do, Clever Else ran away from the village, still jingling as she went. And from that day to this, no one has ever seen her again. Some say she is still out there somewhere, trying to figure out if she is really herself!
